Conversations in the Cubbon - I

Take me away, (to) a secret place, 
A sweet escape,
Take me away to better days
Take me away, a hiding place

- Natasha Bedingfield, 'A pocketful of sunshine'

The day was cloudy as Sandhya and her eleven year old daughter Asha made their way to the Cubbon Park on a Wednesday afternoon in May 2015. The usual salubrious Bangalore climate coupled with cloudy weather made the Cubbon, as air-conditioned as ever. Sandhya was with one of the top chartered accountant firms of the country. Asha, one of the really studious non-bratty kids you can find, was in the process of shifting to class seven, beginning the next academic year. Her vacations were coming to an end in two weeks and she had had her fill of holidaying supplemented with her homework assignments.

Asha was wondering as to why her Amma did not attend office that day and why they were in the middle of the city in its greatest lung space that afternoon. Sandhya parked her automatic golden beige Tata Nano outside the park and took Asha in. Myriad thoughts were making the jog inside Sandhya's head as they made their way in.

"Why are we here Amma? I think it is a long time we came here, isn't it?"

"Yes. I brought you here so that I can speak with you. I want to tell you something. Come, let us go to the park. We can sit down in some place nice and talk."

"Ok, ma."

They meandered their way in the Cubbon and found a place to sit under the canopy of trees. The cacophony of the vehicles dissipated as they went deeper into the park.

Sandhya took out the wraps she had ordered from Faaso's and thrust one into the hands of Asha.

"When did you buy this?" A beaming Asha queried. 

"Just before picking you from...." Sandhya started, but seemingly unmindful of the answer, Asha started unwrapping it and taking a bite. The aloo-channa (Potato-chickpea) in mint sauce roll was her favourite and her mother had not got one, but two of them.

"Asha..." Sandhya began.

"Mmm?"

"I want to tell you something important."

Always forthright in her views, both at home and office, Sandhya was unnaturally reticent and hesitant, commencing the conversation. Circumstances make people and they cannot be themselves all the time. There are situations, phases in life where you are pushed to a corner and you wring your hands desperately, now knowing what to say or do.

Asha sensed the seriousness in her mother's voice and became alert. Kids do sense and become defensive in such situations.

”Ma, I didn't do any mischief; even the school work is done.I had a fight with Priya, but then we made up,” She rattled, with an air of apology.

Sandhya said “No no, it's not about your school and stuff, it's something else”

Asha was relieved.  She was listening, but her eyes went back to the half finished wrap.

"Krish and I have decided to split." Sandhya said in a very low, slightly choke filled voice.

At that, Asha looked up at Sandhya. "Split? Who? What?"

"We have decided to divorce."

Sandhya did not know when the “D” word slipped  in the conversation. In fact she had mentally prepared as to what she would speak to Asha. But, conversations, especially of the personal kind, never go on expected lines. More so, when you prepare for them. Particularly, conversations having an emotional drag in them. It is a 'then and there' thing. In most of the cases, all you can manage is silence and a mumble. In the end, you know that you have not conveyed what you wanted to. It is important not to be intimidated by the enormity of the situation but one rarely is not. Conversations with kids are an eye opener. They know what to speak, when to speak and how to speak. They are very forthright in the points they want to put across.

Sandhya felt Asha staring  at her in disbelief and a tad accusingly. She opened the bottle of grape juice and offered Asha. Sandhya had made sure that she brought all that Asha liked. Adults will be adults.

"Appa is in Singapore for the past one year isn't it? You are staying separate anyway," Asha said.

A very pertinent question. It was not expected from a eleven year old, but kids these days.....Well, age is not a good indicator of maturity.

Point. What is the use of legally separating when you are staying separate already? An innocuous query from a child. 'How will I put it across that I want to move on….?' Thoughts started criss-crossing through Sandhya's head.

During the course of a conversation, there is a time when you start feeling your feet. It takes time and you do it with people whom you have to and also with those you are comfortable with. The same happened to Sandhya. 'I have to get this across to Asha', she felt.

(To continue)