The intriguing phenomenon called Rajinikanth

(image courtesy: the internet)

The Chief Minister of Kerala, Mr.Pinrayi Vijayan, was asked his favorite ways of winding up. he replied, "Rajinikanth movies". A state which has two of the most versatile movie actors of this country - Mohanlal and Mamooty - and its Chief Minister likes Rajinikanth!

With a new movie of Rajinikanth slated to release tomorrow and which such mass hysteria - much media created, i would like to believe - surrounding the release, it is but pertinent to discuss what sets him apart and why there is such mass hysteria surrounding him.

What makes Rajinikanth a phenomenon? Fascinating. One of the biggest paradoxes of our times is this phenomenon called Rajinikanth.

The rise and rise of this person to such dizzying Heights as a superstar of our times in one of intrigue. What made him tick? How did this person with none of the special characteristics - fairness (an Indian obsession), muscular body, striking features and above all acting skills - that set a movie screen hero apart from the others manage to climb and lord over the others?

The answer to this is that Rajinikanth had something which others did not have - he did everything his way. What he did was unique. Being discovered by K Balachander, director, when, as a bus conductor in Bangalore, he flipped a cigarette in the air and onto his mouth, he had his turning point then, which was a turning point for one man and the movie industry, notably the Tamil movie industry.

Initially typecast as an antagonist (I still hold this view that being a antagonist on screen comes naturally to him and he is really good at that than his umpteen 'hero' roles), he managed to climb the hero ranks with his unique dialogue delivery, on screen mannerisms, style and gimmicky antics, helped by movie scripts (and not to forget, dialogues) that were written with him in mind - an orphan wronged, a boy without a father being cheated by the rest of the family, innocent simpleton, country bumpkin - who, a do-gooder, in the end, vanquishes his enemies and comes up trumps.

This was the formula for M G Ramachandran, yesteryear Tamil superstar who had charisma and a fan following non-pareil in movie history so much so that he tapped it to the fullest to become the chief minister of Tamil Nadu and remained so till death. His movies saw him doing  only good to even his enemies, not even looking at the direction of his heroines (prudish beyond imagination), but they fawning over him and falling head over heels for attention. This carefully cultivated persona led to a cult following among the mass and ultimately made him an unrivalled phenomenon. 

Rajinikanth followed a similar formula - invariably his movies will have a doting mother, his father would have been wronged and killed when he was a kid, they would live in penury, he would do a blue collar job, the richest girl in the city would fall for him and in the end he would best his enemies and take the girl home. The only difference was that theism was propagated in his movies as against MGR's, which had atheistic connotes at times.

Unrealistic, untenable and unbelievable. But that's what the common man wants to see on screen. He identifies with the hero -  Rajinikanth - and wants  to do all that which he does in those three hours on screen. He lives his imagination in the hero and goes back home happily. Which explains why movie stars were, are and will continue to be the biggest heroes of our times as they make us live in an unreal world where we cannot live in but which we want to.

Which also partially explains the "Rajinikanth" phenomenon. An ordinary looker seducing the most beautiful women in the world, taking on injustice single handedly, embodying all virtues and living  happily ever after is stuff only dreams of made of and every common man with such a dream lives that through a Rajinikanth on screen. It has to be said, that his personal life of the last 20 odd years also has a role to play in his image. His off screen reputation as a good man also has contributed in no less way in adding to his onscreen persona.

However, all said and done, with increasing literacy, awareness and realisation that a movie is, well, but a movie, and that characters are not the same in real life, the stratospheric and near God like position enjoyed by such superstars is coming to an end.

Solitude

Without great solitude no serious work is possible.

~ Pablo Picasso

The best thinking has been done in solitude.

~ Thomas A. Edison

All man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone."

- Blaise Pascal

Solitude was my only consolation - deep, dark, deathlike solitude.

~ Mary Shelley

What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.

~ Ellen Burstyn

Solitude is the great teacher, and to learn its lessons you must pay attention to it.

~ Deepak Chopra

The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude.

~ Aldous Huxley

I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.

~ Henry David Thoreau, 'Walden'

A man can be himself alone so long as he is alone … if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.

~ Arthur Schopenhauer, 'The World as Will and Idea'

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.

~ Jodi Picoult ,'My Sister's Keeper'

"… practically all creative people, and certainly most geniuses, have preferred to be alone for long periods, especially when producing their best work."

- Raj Persaud, 'One Hundred Tears of Solitude'

Living in solitude, eating lightly, controlling the thought, word, and deed; ever absorbed in yoga of meditation, and taking refuge in detachment.

- Bhagavad Gita 

Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive... You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody.

- Osho

(image source: www.lonerwolf.com)

One of the posts that I had written - Mylapore to Melbourne via Massachusetts ends like this:

“Why do you choose to be lonely? How long?”

“I am not lonely. Loneliness is not a choice. Solitude is. I am in bliss, from solitude.”

Human beings are products of social interaction and are generally supposed to be interactive. So why do they chose to be alone? There is a view that solitude is not out of choice, but out of chance and this gradually makes you accept solitude out of choice. Solitude can be forced due to personal or social pressures too, but I want to highlight in this post, the reasons behind people desiring and choosing solitude. The thin line dividing solitude and loneliness is that loneliness is not a choice; it is imposed whereas solitude is a choice.

A lot of quotes mentioned above try to reinforce the view that solitude is a facet of famous personalities, persons who are known to be reclusive. Many such persons have gone on record saying how solitude has inspired them to do things in life which they would have otherwise not been able to. While conversations could indeed be enriching in many ways, it is said that solitude is the 'school of genius'.

What are the reasons for 'choosing' solitude? Does solitude have its benefits?

Solitude is soul space and 'awareness' or 'witness' plane. One of the reasons for a person's choice of solitude, the most basic, is that you can be yourself in your space. There is no one guiding you, trying to infringe upon your space. You can reach out to people if you want to and when you want to. The other time is when you can be yourself, just yourself, doing your own thing.

I have seen people who are very self made at ease being alone than in a group. They like to do things themselves and rarely seek help. The 'dependence' factor is very less.

Another reason is that many of such persons preferring solitude have strong views on life and perhaps do not find many people who are intellectually stimulating as them. They like to be alone with the good and bad in them.

However, for a minority, solitude is a choice. Though, metaphorically, one may say that in such a connected world as today, we are seldom in solitude or peace with all that chatter and noise all over. There's no 'me' time and we are perennially on a information and gossip plane. Privacy has become a component of treasure.

Some of people preferring solitude also feel that they are intellectually superior to others; smarter than the rest. 'Smart' is a misnomer, a word that even screams 'self aggrandisement!' on the face. A superiority complex? It is perhaps possible that the topics of interest for an 'intelligent' person would find fewer takers than say, a 'normal/average' person. I feel that when people who consider themselves 'smart' are at home with people possessing similar level of intelligence quotient and such discussions can at times get abstract for the rest. They feel that the number of such people are very less and that they do not feel like conversing with the rest as it does not add value to their life. This is, as always, perceptive. Conversely, the topics of interest for a normal person may not find a taker in an 'intelligent' person. But I believe such 'exclusivity' is also self-imposed in many cases. Everyone is wired differently.

However, the most important issue is that solitude, when it is by choice, indeed gives a creative and more fulfilling space....a fillip to fulfillment, if I can put it that way.

In a negative way, solitude can drive people to depression and even suicide; the reasons are not far to seek. Many a time, one can find persons choosing solitude to be completely at sea in a group of people. They feel out of place and sometimes even get depression pangs.

Philosophically speaking, solitude also brings us face to face with the reality that no matter what - each one of us is walking alone in the path of life and the security cover offered by friends and family is superficial.

So, do you enjoy being alone?

Should do you give up?

Arise, awake and rest not until the goal is reached. The greatest sin is to think yourself weak

-        Swami Vivekananda

It is always darkest just before the Day dawneth.

-        Old proverb

The Mind is everything; what you think , you become

-        The Buddha

The real sign of weakness in anyone is yielding to dualities & running away from their overriding duty of the moment.

-   The Bhagavad Gita

We should not give up and allow the problem to defeat us.

-        Dr.APJ Abdul Kalam

Fall seven times and stand up eight.

-        Japanese Proverb

A winner is just a loser who tried one more time.

-        George M. Moore Jr. (1862-1940), Member U.S. House of Representatives

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.

-        Walter Elliot (1888-1958), Scottish politician

Rise and rise again until lambs become lions

― Robin Hood

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

-        Thomas Edison (1874-1931), inventor of the light bulb

A failure is not always a mistake. The real mistake is to stop trying.

-        B.F. Skinner (1904-1990), American psychologist

You may be the only person left who believes in you, but it's enough. It takes just one star to pierce a universe of darkness. Never give up.”

-         Richelle E. Goodrich

(images source: www.dailymail.co.uk)

A few days back, one of the shocking sights in football happened. No, not the English exit out of Euro ’16, bowing out to minnows Iceland, but that of Lionel Messi, one of football's superstars.

Copa America 2016. He had his moment. Just one penalty shot. He has taken scores of such shots throughout his life. It should have been a cakewalk. After all for a man who has scored breathtaking goals throughout his life for his clubs and country, this should have been a stroll in the park. But it was not to be. At a very crucial moment, that too in the final against Chile, his legs, eyes and what not deceived him. And millions of Argentines and fans throughout the world.

How could a sporting hero do that? I mean, THAT! Or, how could it ‘happen’ to him? Flabbergasted, people at the stadium and television screens around the world stared with disbelief, the sight of a hero, a champion who has won the Ballon d’Or (Golden Ball)  five times - on his knees. Another Cup final lost. Fourth, in fact. Out of the four, three major finals in three years - the 2016 and 2015 Copa America finals, as well as the 2014 World Cup final. Ah, cruel is fate!

Then came the shocker - from Messi himself - that he won’t play for Argentina again. Yes, "For me, the national team is over," he said. "I've done all I can. It hurts not to be a champion. It's been four finals, I tried. It was the thing I wanted the most, but I couldn't get it, so I think it's over.

In short, he gave up. Colloquially, he ‘threw in the towel’.

Why did he do it? He could not bear the heartache of another loss. Typically, he was done. He tried and during this trying he had waited. Waited for every Cup event. Fought hard and got into the final. On the big day, he did not get up on the right side of the bed. Pipped at the post, every time.

It is understandable. There is a point of time when we feel that it is over. Not worth trying anymore. So when do we give up. Or should we give up at all?

All of us have goals in our lives. Small ones. Big ones. A big one replacing a small one. A passion. A goal that induces a passion. We work towards attaining that goal, in our own way. We make all efforts. It consumes us. The goal, that is. We suffer the pangs while at it. We stretch ourselves, body and mind to attain that goal. While we are at it, we honestly and sincerely believe that we will indeed attain that goal, that reward.

However, for some strange reason, it remains still unattainable. Or perhaps, patience has run out. Is it right to give up? The best judge, of course, is you. But, one needs to understand certain things before taking the decision to give up.

The first one is the easiest one – can you achieve it? Or are you mired in self-doubt? If you can still achieve it, then why give up?

“It’s easy to be afraid; you have to let fear go. Another lesson is you just have to believe in yourself. You just have to. There’s no way around it. You’ve got to believe in yourself. No matter how things are stacked against you, you just have to, every time.”  So said Venus Williams, when asked as to how cold she motivate herself to play. Her sister, Serena Williams,  just made history, securing her 22nd Grand Slam title - making history by drawing her level with Steffi Graf as the joint-most successful women in tennis in the Open Era. To put matters in perspective, Serena lost three Open finals in her pursuit to equal Steffi but never lost her motivation to continue with her goal.

Can you live without attaining that goal? This takes some hard knocking, but if you can be rational about it, you can get the answer. The reasons can range from physiological to self actualisation because every person has a different reason for a goal.

What do you lose if you give up? It is something that would have a wide ranging, far reaching emotional impact or can it fritter away?  One’s effort would be futile if the goal is something that is not going to make him/her feel better. It should give a sense of fulfillment.

Then, can there be a substitute goal that can back up as a balm and not make you feel crushed? It is about lowering the bar. It could be self-defeating for people. Some even feeling self deprecating. But, keep in mind; you cannot go after a mirage.

The other thing which people say is that have little goals which are sub-sets of the bigger goal. Try achieving these small ones. They will make you realise that you are on the correct track and motivate you to achieving the bigger goal. The path of pursuit sometimes can also be life-altering.

The other thing that pops as a question is that is the dream or goal consuming you? One can make compromises in life; but life itself should not be a compromise. One should keep in mind that a victory should not be pyrrhic – just like King Ashoka felt after the Kalinga War. It should not be you holding a piece of paper that is just a testimony to the goal – it should make you savour it.

The advantage of giving up is that once you decide, there will be no more tears, suffering or guilt pangs bothering you. The mind returns to churning thoughts with clarity.  However, the fear of failure should not be a reason to give up. There are times when you feel that people may get judgemental about you. This should never be a reason for giving up. Remember, you tried. Tried your best. Can you try longer? If so, why give up?

Similarly, think of all the efforts you put all the time in attaining the goal. Do you really want to give up at a time when you are perhaps close to your goal? Believe that you can, and you will. Sometimes, to your astonishment!

Emotions play a huge part in all our decisions. The heart controls the head. When it is so, never take a decision. Or still, just decide opposite to what the heart says as it is an emotional push.

Giving up should make your life better. If not, just continue doing it. One day, you will attain it. In fact, success is often ‘just around the corner’, as is repeatedly said. One of my friends always has this to say – “What is your end game?”  If you are able to get that clear, deciding on giving up or continuing becomes easier.

Winning is not everything. It is the 'only' thing. Yes?

Unrequited 'love' and the Tamil male

(image source: the internet)

Last week, a lady software engineer working in Infosys was hacked to death just in heart of the Nungambakkam railway station, Madras, while she was waiting for a suburban train early morning. The killer was a 24 year old male who is apparently a mechanical engineering graduate (with varying reports that he still has arrears) from a town near Madurai. Due to CCTV footage, he was finally caught. The reason for the killing was 'love failure'. After becoming friends on Facebook, he had proposed to the girl, who had rejected his overtures. He continued stalking her and finally, made a plan to finish her off which he did eventually, snuffing out the life and dreams of the poor lady and bringing an entire family to a halt. The series of incidents have had TN in its thrall since the day of the crime.

I am going to say something controversial and something that I have observed during my years of existence, the bulk of which have been in TN, my birthplace. I am restricting this to the Tamil male because of what I have observed in men belonging to other states. I may be off the mark, but I believe that a lot of grudging acknowledgements will eventually trickle in.

The terrible part of 'TN culture' is that from day one, boys and girls are discouraged from moving with each other. If a boy is found to a girl on the street or in school, he has committed a crime worthy of punishment of Talibanesque proportions. 'Aren't you ashamed?' 'Do you not find boys of your age to talk to?' 'What will your parents feel?' are things which the boy will get to hear. This 'taboo' culture has permeated to a lot of levels with such prudish overtones that till the boys and girls finish school and college, they are not human beings who have interacted with each other. Do you know that in engineering colleges, you can be fined for talking to girls? Or that certain engineering colleges have separate lunch timings for boys and girls? Or that, worse, some engineering colleges have separate entrances and staircases for boys and girls to go to the same class? 

Once these world beings finish college and hit offices for work, they get the chance to see, meet, speak to and mingle with girls and that is where they run amok like a bull in a china shop. 

Add to this, the great average Tamil movie, where the most beautiful heroines 'pine and thirst' for the average looking heroes who are shown not even interested in their overtures. These heroes don't even look at girls (looking at them would only be for the sake of 'helping' them) and they don't interest them.(I am reminded of movies of yesteryear actors like MGR who would 'close' their eyes on seeing a girl...ah.... so pure are these Rishyashringas.. it would rain on arid deserts if they only stepped on them!)

The other angle would be where the hero stalks, makes overtures and the girl says no in the beginning of the movie and by the end of the movie it is the girl who is chasing him like a headless chicken all over town, after seeing his 'golden' heart. The hero is shown to be really brainy and brawny, with 'only' looks being a downer whereas the heroine is one of the most beautiful damsels on this earth with a chicken-headed brain to boot. The hero 'gets' the heroine and, how! After 'advising' her on culture and ethos and how not falling in love with him would only be her loss and that a hundred other girls will stand in queue for his 'golden' heart. These movies have created a warped up notion of 'love' and yes, the youngsters lap it up. Add to these, 'bar' songs denouncing the 'cheat' in the woman. Romantic scenes show the hero all over the woman's anatomy like virtually holding a passport over her entire body. 

Worse still, there are movies that show as if violence against women is all pervading in society. One of the scenes I hate in these movies is where the woman is slapped, hurt. It is almost as a de rigueur for a woman to be hit...wives, girlfriends...you name them, they have all been punched in the face by various males. 

The worst of the lot, graphic scenes of rape. (This, when even marital rape is a crime) I hate to even read stories of rape in the news because that is the lowliest form of crime a man can indulge in just because he is a ******* male. It just makes me squirm. (An aside....the worst movie scene I have seen is from the French movie Irreversible (2002)...it is so graphic that you will vomit - what were the makers thinking?)

I am talking of the average movie, not the ones that are decent and show women characters with a brain.  

Now, let us connect the dots. When boys and girls get to meet each other in offices, these warped up lives that they have seen and heard come to haunt them. Bloody hormones play a huge part and invariably, the fairer girls get hit on first. Chased and stalked. Just imagine the mind of a girl who is stalked at bus stops and railway stations - everyday places she has to use to earn money. That now, would be 'fear'. The boy gets the feeling that it is his right to 'own' a girl and he goes about it. When the person gets rejected, it is like "If I don't attain her, I will eliminate her." Retrograde.

I have seen that this is a problem very prevalent among Tamil boys because of the factors I delineated above. This is not going to change unless there is a paradigm metamorphosis in the ethos prevalent in the society. I am not trying to generalise things, but the society has to do something about this. It starts in the family.

I studied in 'boys only' schools till class ten, except for a brief intervening period of one year in class five. Classes eleven and twelve where when I interacted with girls. I was very much an introvert. I managed to become friends with girls after I was made a leader of a group during a period of training at railway stations and offices. A lot of talking and understanding makes you realise that it is just a matter of a difference in chromosomes - girls are also human beings, after all! Of course, my parents have also never made me feel alien if I talked to girls. It is also a 'not so small' matter of bringing yourself up and the 'attraction' part falls through. Trust and comfort is what is a girl looking for.

Today, some of my best friends are those who belong to the fairer sex. I have opened up to many of them and so have they, to me. 

I always advise my little boy to be most comfortable moving with girls. It is a matter of respect, I tell him. He studies in a co-educational school where his teachers are women and many school mates are girls.And yes, movie scenes are movie scenes, I clarify at every opportunity I get. I am sure he will conduct himself with dignity.

I only hope that these incidents ( here's hoping that they don't recur), unfortunate as they are, serve to highlight the malaise that haunts the society and serve as eye-openers to parents and educational institutions. Let there be change!