Stalked in Bombay

(image source: www.youtube.com)

8 pm. CST railway station, Bombay. I was standing in the queue to buy tickets to go home to thane. Around twenty people were before me. Rains appeared to have set on Bombay after what seemed an eternity, with people, in the last few days, only looking up at the sky for divine intervention from the heat and of course, in the hope for rain to fill the reservoirs; ultimately, the buckets and make their taps function at their homes.

As is the only job of every world citizen today (next only to breathing) I was peering into my mobile phone. Suddenly, I felt a push, a very mild push at my back. In India, a queue is firstly a luxury as you have people cramming any counter all over. Where you have semblances of queues, it would be a straight line of people who are almost at the toes of the person in front of them. So, I ignored it dismissively. Around ten seconds later, the same mild push. "Sorry.."

A third time, after a minute got me slightly annoyed and I turned around to have a look. A man, presumably in his thirties, dressed in a gaudy pink shirt and jeans, with a peculiar overpowering stench of perfume. "Sorry.."

Again? "Peeche se dhakka....." (some one's pushing from the back) he said, sheepishly.

I turned around to read on my mobile phone once again. The crowd in the front did not appear to move an inch. People buy their train passes in the same Queue and consequently, longer waits result. The other queues seemed longer, making even the thought of changing lanes not result oriented.

The next time, there was another push or a semblance of one. Now, I have had my pockets picked twice on Bombay local trains and buses and am hence very guarded when I reach a station. Once bitten, twice shy. Twice bitten, always shy.

So when someone gets close to me on a train, the first thought that occurs to me is that he is out to pick my pocket. So, with one hand holding the mobile and the other in the pocket housing my wallet, I turned around and asked him, "What do you want?"

"Sorry, " he muttered. "there is a crowd.." In English. A flash. I realized that he was speaking in English to me. "Why don't you stand a bit behind? You need not bump into me every time."

"Sorry "

After a few seconds, he continued, "Do you work? Where do you work?"

In India complete strangers become acquainted in minutes. It is a very Indian thing to give out varying bits of personal information sometimes even very private which would be considered as an intrusion into privacy in most other countries and leave them aghast.

I take time to open up and I have learnt to do a complete 'no-no' to strangers. I continued to pore onto my mobile phone. Then he continued, 'I work for Vodafone'. Once again, I pretended not to have heard him.

"Where are you going? "

Something in me replied, "Thane"

The crowd was inching ; 15 more to go. "My office is in Ballard estate".

"'I stay at Kanjur marg (an intermediate station on the central line) . Where are you working?"

"'I work for the government'

"'Where?"

" BKC"

Now, that's a semblance of a conversation. Significantly, this is where it went next. Thirty seconds or so later... 

"'Nice shirt"

 "Oh. Thank you."

 Why did that 'thank you' come out? Sub consciously? Ah, No one doesn't like praise. 

"'I have a similar shirt with me, but of a different color."

"Oh"

 Ten more to go in the queue. Time doesn't pass when you want it to, but rushes when you don't.

 Then it came. Out of nowhere.

 "What perfume do you use?"

 Startled, I turned around."What?"

 "You smell good"

 I had left home at 7:30 am, travelled to BKC in a bus for more than an hour, from BKC to Bandra station in an auto in the afternoon, from Bandra station to Churchgate station by train (standing in the midst of a crowd),  walked to Fort area to the advocate's office and then took a taxi to CST station. Close to 12 hours. And a deo still stays?

 He had a smile on his face.

"'I wear a 'boss'"

'Sorry?"

" I wear a boss perfume"'

"Oh"

"Can you smell it?"

 Well, that was a stunner. I did not reply. It took time for my pounding head to realize that this conversation was getting somewhere. It took a bit longer to realize that it was not to a place I liked.

"Is the perfume good?"

 I felt mildly offended and snapped back, with a smirk, "It's all over the place, isn't it?"

 I did not know if it hit him. But what he did next hit me.

 Four more people to go. A Mild drizzle outside. The intensity of the crowd was not dissipating any minute. The person at the counter was arguing with the person in the line. Everyone seemed to be renewing their rail pass or arguing with the ticket clerk.

 He put a hand over my shoulder. "Too much crowd"

 I took his hand off. I realized he was becoming very friendly. I also realized that my left hand was not guarding my purse pocket anymore and thrust my hand back into it. What I did not realize was that he wasn't after my purse.

 My turn came, I took the ticket and turned to the platforms. The next direct train to thane -  not going beyond thane, that is - was a good 20 plus minutes away. It is difficult to get out of trains going beyond, with a wallet and phone to protect and hence I always take a train that terminates at thane.

 I was waiting and there he came again, our friend in a pink shirt. "Waiting?'

No watching for elephants!  What else do you do at a platform at that time of the night? Sigh.

 I did not reply.

"'Are you taking the Kalyan train to Thane?"

 I got perturbed.

"Why do you bother?"

Before he could answer, I continued, "You have to go to Kanjur Marg isn't it? There are multiple trains. Go ahead".

" I want to speak with you"

"What? What is there to speak?"

"We can be friends."

"Excuse me? I barely know you. Please go away"

The continuing noise of train announcements, trains flitting in and out, the traffic on the road, vendors and not to mention the passengers - the decibel level was something.

 He came a bit close to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Why are you..... We can be friends. You look nice. You can come to my house.."

Ah, that's where it hit me. 'Look nice'? Well, beauty indeed lies in the eye of the beholder. Lo, and behold!

"Just go away." I grew slightly livid.

As I have stated multiple times earlier, my tolerance limits are too high and the 'anger' button is located so deep inside me that I now don't even know where it exists.

 I walked away and stood separately. He waited for some time, a few fleeting seconds, perhaps and started advancing towards me.

"We can be friends"

 Again?

With my head pounding,  I turned and gave him a hard look."Are you gay? I am not. Just leave."

Then a train approached the platform. It was indeed a Kalyan train, one that went beyond Thane. I jumped in. I did not get a seat, but stood deep inside. One eye was on the doorway. The next three minutes really did make me have my heart in my mouth. The train left. No sign of him. A relief. I had a hard time getting out at thane, but that was endurable when compared to being chased. 

I don't have a problem with people being gay and all that -  it is their orientation. But in a country where it is frowned upon and taboo, these are ways in which things happen. It becomes a niggle zone when you are approached.

This is not an isolated incident. In December 2002, on a local train to Kalyan, a middle aged man got too friendly with me touching my head, shoulders and all that. I had to tick him off and he chased me all the way to the end of the station. It was a nightmarish experience. He was also talking about 'being friends'. You get the drift? 

On another occasion, a man tried to thrust his 'you know what'  onto my butt on a western railway local train. I had to push him away.

And yes, a couple of times when I could feel being 'groped',  again on Bombay local trains. I don't know if I am a male sex symbol by any means, but yes, it has happened few times.

These incidents stay on your mind forever as they are very impactful. They have been isolated, but if they happen, they leave an undelible imprint.

With trains brimming with so much crowd practically at any time of the day thanks to a never ending floating population, where you cannot even see the person in front, back or the sides, having to protect your wallets, mobile phones and bags, Bombay local trains are ripe grounds for such mild orgies.

I just think of poor women folk who have to endure all the ogling, leching, inappropriate physical contact and propositioning by the great Indian male. On a regular basis. On buses, trains, stations, offices, shops, roads - you name it. Where not! Poor ones who are forced to work because of an ever widening income-expenditure gap. For survival. Mine was nothing, I believe. In their cases even safety is a big issue.  Salute the Indian working women folk! 

Does life happen?

“Yesterday is but a dream, Tomorrow is only a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.” - Kalidasa

'Sometimes life just happens to you, and you can't dodge it. It crashes into you because it wants to see what you're made of.' - Alexandra Bracken

There are two quotes on life which I hold dear to my heart - Que sera, sera (French for 'What will happen, will happen') and one famous quote by John Lennon, member of the Beatles band - “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans”.

The latter is one quote which I keep repeating to many people around me and which is the most poignant quote about life, ever. Interestingly, John Lennon was himself shot dead, on 8 December 1980, by a person called mark Chapman in New York, while returning from a recording. His unnatural and sudden death further fortifies his statement that you cannot plan for life because it just happens.

They say that cricket is a game of glorious uncertainties. Life is also a game of uncertainties, glorious or not!

However, this is not to say that you just go with the flow and do nothing. It is existence and not living. The fact is that one has to try to expand one’s horizons but accept what life has given to you. A lot of times, one is the product of the circumstances but in many other situations, we place ourselves in the situations where we find ourselves in.

Life throws a lot of things at you, particularly at times when you least expect them. Sometimes, it is worth to wait for surprises. Which is why they say patience contributes a lot in accepting and living life. Patience is indeed a virtue and we all would do well to imbibe some of it.

However, acceptance is very important because it makes you move forward in life. If you don't accept things, you tend to be caught in a warp. It has happened many a time to me. There are times when I deny happenings around me and try to carry on as if it is status quo. It has dealt a heavy blow to me in later years, to such extent that I have lost myself. The key is to move on. You can never change the past. You make mistakes. But you can do your best to not repeat those mistakes.

Try to see the positive side as much as possible. Easier said than done, though. But, yes, life happens to you. Indeed. Which makes it exciting, actually!

Enjoy every moment. Happiness is just a mindset. Again, easier said than done!

There are many tales told on life and its uncertainties and how we should cope with them. One of my favorites, with a positive twist, is this.

There was a bottle of ghee, which was pondering over how it got there.

"I was safe inside the cow and the humans pulled me out and stored me in a bottle. I was sold for Rs.40/- a litre. My many other milk friends were consumed straight out a bottle. But they took me aside and converted me to curd. From smooth milky white consistency, I became paste like and rough. I was sold for Rs.100/- a litre. While some of my friends were sold, I was again converted into butter, sold for Rs.250/- a kg. However, my trials have not ended. I have now been heated and converted into what they call ghee. The heat was unbearable, I could not handle it. What am I gaining? Why these trials and tribulations for me?"

Just then, it heard someone shouting, "Hey that is pure ghee, it is very costly, Rs.500/- a litre. Place it inside so that the bottle does not break. You broke a bottle of milk in the morning, I was not livid. But ghee is something altogether; handle it with care!'"

Just then the ghee got happy. "Well I was sold for just Rs.40/- a litre and now after undergoing all those trials I am sold for Rs.500/- a litre and I am being preserved more than the other products!"

Well I don't know how relevant that was to this topic, but the more things happen to you, the more you try to face them with a smile as they are all making you like that bottle of milk! You want to become ghee, don't you?

Aye, auto!

(image source: www.entecity.com) 

It is very intriguing that auto drivers in Madras {Chennai} (and this extends to a lot of places in Tamil Nadu) have, for decades, run their own fiefdom with impunity. I have used autorickshaw services in many places in India - primarily the four southern states, Gujarat, Maharashtra, Delhi, Bengal, amongst others.

There are places where autos do not ply with the meter on at times - in Hyderabad and Bangalore, for example, I have had to pay routinely a negotiated rate despite the presence of meters in autos - but I observed that the negotiated rate does not require hard bargaining; the auto driver does not start at Rs.300 and come down to Rs.150, which is indeed a commentary on the frivolousness of the quote made earlier. Once you have travelled the distance, there is the sub-conscious telling you that though you have not paid by the meter, you have not been ripped off.

I remember that even during the old days of mechanical meters when autos in Madras indeed used to ply by the meter, the meter would be “heated up” (wound) to ensure that it jumps at shorter distances. After a point of time when people started complaining about the meters, the drivers started asking for fixed rates. With the mushrooming of auto driver unions where the ruling and the opposition parties with the highest strengths (read: Dravidian parties) would invariably be a part of, the going by the meter slowly became an extinct practice.

Once you got out of Madras Central or Madras Egmore, the biggest hassle would be a haggle with the auto drivers. They would demand ridiculously astronomical amounts for even the shortest of distances and you did not have a choice as they invariably formed a cartel. The situation inside the city would be no better, particularly where you have “stand autos” - autos that would occupy a road in particular area, forming a mini-union with a list of office bearers et al and controlling the price.

The worst part about autos in Madras, which the drivers themselves do not understand (or do not want to understand) is that instead of driving 10 kms for Rs.200 and sitting idle for the rest of the day for want of a negotiated rate, if one plies by the meter, you can get more trips and earn significantly higher amounts. (A trip from Alwarpet to the Madras airport at Meenambakkam Z(around 15 kms) costs Rs.180 odd by the meter, but if one calls an auto, they would, at the least, demand Rs.250/- - in most cases Rs.300/-) Petrol price rise, increase in prices of essential commodities like milk were the sob stories which drivers would cry their hearts out to passengers, as justifications for not plying by the meter. This, when the meter rates were fixed when oil prices were at their highest and are tellingly low as compared to when they were fixed.

The AIADMK Government, for the first time, under a lot of pressure from the Courts and media driven campaigns notified a rate card system in the city. A lot of credit to the Government for bringing meters back; it was something the average Madras citizen never even thought of in his wildest dream. Enforcement petered out after a period of time. Enforcement has to be learnt from a small neighbour like Kerala.

So today you have autos with electronic meters that do not use them. What I do is that I wait for that auto which is ready to ply by the meter - the going rate is generally Rs.20 more than the meter. So like the example I gave above, I will still end up paying Rs.200 for a trip from Alwarpet to Meenambakkam rather than Rs.250–300, which would have been the negotiated rate.

The increase in private transport, mushrooming of share cab/autos, call taxis and call autos themselves have created a dent in the income of the autos and have challenged the might of their once impregnable kingdom. Public awareness and activism is not like Bangalore, but it did do something in getting the meter system in place. It is just that citizens are not insisting the same.

The reasons for the auto drivers in Madras behaving like creatures from another planet are not far to find. It is a habit nurtured right from the time an auto driver touches the handlebar for the first time. It is in their blood. They just do not know any other way. They have simply not used the meter. It is a thrill ripping off people day in and day out. Inside the driver knows that he has charged much more for a trip than what it would merit. Who would not want to earn more than what you deserve, when someone is willing to pay that much?

While this is appalling, citizens need to show the way. Only citizens. The Government has done its bit by formulating a rate. Why can’t you ply by it? As a citizen, simply refuse to take things lying down. Yes. Refuse two-three autos. You will get one who will ply by the meter. Many, sorry, most of them still negotiate rates and use the autos. Once I waited for ten minutes to ply by an auto driver who would use the meter. Imagine if a lot of citizens, and over time, all the citizens do this. In Bombay, for example, citizens do not negotiate because there is simply no scope for negotiation. Except for railway stations and airports where you can get ripped off, one can just get into the auto and the first thing the driver does will be to turn on the meter.

Unfortunately, persons like me are too less and that is a lopsided number of people who just don’t care. So over a period of time, the good work done by the Government in bringing back meters would go waste.

Negotiation is not something that is part of public transport. If you have the licence to ply, then play by the rules.

Will you, as a citizen, do your bit? It is easy. Try!

Not cracking the IIT

It is the IIT results season. The usual newspaper stories - who topped, which institute churned out most toppers and of course, the advertisements for the coaching institutes. A neighbourhood girl of mine had not cracked it and it brought me memories of my brother.

I am not from the technical line - am in administration and services with a commerce background. But I can share the story of my brother who tried, did not get (more importantly, did not fret) and then cracked IIT later.

My brother studied for the IIT in the late 90s - the usual preparations, breaking his head, late nights, multiple books etc. and when the results came, well, he wasn’t above the cut off.

He did feel bad about it - he had close to a year for that and spent all his time studying. Well, there is life beyond any one specific way to success. If success is to be measured only in terms of qualifying for IIT, then a few hundreds are the successful and intelligent ones, whereas millions are not! Is it so? Obviously not.

My brother did not fret, did his engineering from a college in Madras and went on to work in a top PSU. (Most importantly, he did not waste another year waiting to crack it again, which I find ridiculous unless you have the financial support and the heart to take another failure to do it)

And his chance to crack the IIT again came. It is like having a goal and meticulously working towards it. He worked like a cold predator, cracked the IIT entrances for the Masters for very elite branch - growing on the strength of a job as well as abandoning the fear of failure and got into that niche course whose batches every year only a very few Indians are part of! Needless to say, he aced the course. This did give him satisfaction that he could crack it, an even tougher entrance than the other.

However, life would have gone on even if he did not get into it. It was part of some self actualisation for him perhaps, and hence it was a self measuring goal.

There is life beyond the IITs. It is not the only measure of intelligence. In fact there is a school of thought that the Government does not have any business running elitist schools of technology and management. This is debatable and the very fact that it is, shows some merit in the argument.

We have lakhs of engineers who come out of engineering colleges and work with different companies, sometimes even creating start ups entities of their own. Just look up the internet for success stories. In fact there are such stories every other nook and corner of big cities.

In a suburb called Mylapore in Madras, almost every other family has an engineer working abroad. A handful are from the IITs; the bulk from various engineering colleges. Many such places abound all over India.

What does the IIT give you? A pedigree? Can’t you create one for yourself? I think you can! There is no badge for you to be advertised. I have nothing against the assembly line churning of IIT success stories by some institutes, but for those who did not get it, use the study as a stepping stone for something different. Remember, in every stage in life, before you pursue something, remind yourself and be fully aware of what is your end game - What is a BTech in IIT going to give me that a BE in some college cannot? Yes, there will indeed be something of value, which is why we still have the clamour for the IITs. But is it worth it? Is it going to make such a difference? In today’s day and age, with multitude of options and plethora of avenues, I find this argument a non-starter.

I am sure it will get you somewhere. In fact, I believe not getting into IIT could even be to make you do something different.

Go, have a crack at that!