Smells of the unconventional

(image source: www.cbsnews.com)

There was a discussion recently on my school social messaging group on the unconventional smells that people like. This inspired me to write this post.

Smell, as per the various definitions on the internet, is the act of: (i) perceiving the odour or scent of (something or someone) through the nose by means of the olfactory nerves; (ii) inhaling the odour of (something or someone).

Smell is the one of the five senses which the human being can perceive, the others being vision, hearing, taste, and touch. Every sense is important and the importance of smell arises from the fact that it helps sense the chemicals in the air. Smell is also important as it aids in detecting taste. The olfactory system in our body helps us sense smell. The nose is the organ responsible for detecting smell. However, we are never as good as animals when it comes to detecting smell.

Smell is such an important part that the perfume and fragrance industry is entirely dependent on this sense. We do like the fragrance of flowers, of a perfume, of food etc. However, there are everyday smells which we like, don't we? By these I do not mean the smell of the scented candles, perfumes, agarbattis, food etc. I mean the unconventional. Shall we see some of these?

How many of you like the smell of gasoline (petrol, diesel)? These fuels smell different when they come out as smoke from different vehicles - two wheelers, cars, trucks etc. Have you noticed that? I like the smell of smoke emitted by trucks. In fact some people burn petrol and inhale the smell to get a 'kick'! Burning tar is also a smell that is liked by some people. Some people like burning rubber, but it puts me off!

What about books? Old and new books give out different kinds of smells don't they? I sometimes dig my nose into new books and bask in the smell of the fresh paper! I love the smell of freshly printed newspaper at times. The chemicals and the smell of newsprint is so fresh with the morning coffee! Staying with paper and newsprint, what about ink? When I was using fountain pens, I would always use "blue-black' ink. This ink is in short supply and is not manufactured much these days. I always had this feeling that the blue black ink smelt differently from blue or black ink!

Cigarette smells are also different and liked by people.

The insides of a brand new car! I love the smell. It makes me feel fresh! What about a house that has got a new paint job?

Have you ever inhaled cement? Ha! However, not all unconventional smells are liked by many people. In fact even conventional smells put some people off.

One smell which is unconventional but would be liked by everyone is the smell of fresh currency notes. Now we would certainly like that smell all the time, won't we?  

Can you forgive?

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong."

- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

"Two persons cannot be friends if they cannot forgive each other's little failings."

Jean De La Bruyere, French philosopher (1645-1696)

"Conquer anger with forgiveness, win the wicked with kindness, educate the niggardly with generosity, overcome injustice with truth. Forgiveness is virtue; forgiveness is sacrifice."

- The Mahabharata

"Forgiveness to be a godly quality foundational for liberation."

- The Bhagavad Gita

"Forgive them, even if they are not sorry."

- The Quran 

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

- The Bible

"The first to apologise is the bravest. The first to forgive the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest."

- Unknown

"Where there is forgiveness, there is God Himself."

- Adi Granth

"To err is human; to forgive, divine."

- Alexander Pope, English poet (1688-1744), in 'An essay on criticism'

"Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself."

- Tony Robbins (born 1955), American motivational speaker

(image source: www.broncopress.com)

I have reproduced a lot of quotes on forgiveness above. The reason is that forgiveness is best understood by such quotes. There is not much to write about this trait, if you can understand the import of these quotes.

What is forgiveness? Why should one forgive and why should people be forgiven? What happens if you forgive?

Forgiveness is the act of showing compassion towards a perceived wrong done to a person. It is the act of letting go of a negative emotion of vengefulness. When someone wrongs you, you feel violated and thirst for an opportunity to give it back. But can you give it back by pardoning that person, especially if he confesses to the act and seeks forgiveness? If you do so, then you have the trait which very few people possess in this world.

A lot of philosophies underlie the importance of forgiveness as an angelic, even godly trait. When you forgive, you tend to let go of a negative emotion and your heart feels lighter.

But can you forgive every wrong done to you? No, that is not possible. Here is a story of Saint Eknath, a prominent Marathi saint, scholar, and religious poet, who lived from 1533-1599.

As Saint Eknath bathed one day in the sacred Godavari, a person, goaded by another group of persons, spat on him as he came out of the water. Without a word of reproach, Saint Eknath simply went in and bathed again; as he came out wearing clean clothes, the person spat again and he went on and on every time Saint Eknath returned to the bath and came out so that he had countless baths until the foolish fellow got tired and was won over by his patience and forbearance. “Forgive me,” he said, “I did wrong to spit at you thus.” “Not at all,” replied Saint Eknath, “I was wrong to come in your way.” His humility had the effect of plunging the man into a well of repentance and he fell at his feet. “Alas, I am a sinner, Maharaj, please bless me and forgive me!” “No, no” said Saint Eknath, “you did no wrong. Thanks to you I took 108 baths in the Godavari, it has done me good.”

Well we cannot be like him, but the message from the above story is that you can be as forgiving as you want to. When you forgive, you let go of a baggage and you feel light. You have shown compassion and kindness to the person who has wronged you. It shows your character.

But can you forgive every wrong? A repetitive mistake? Mistakes can be made, but they perhaps should not intentionally be repeated. But, mistakes, if they are not intentional, should be forgiven forthwith. When a person repeats a mistake knowingly, then it is upto you to decide on whether you should forgive him or not. We cannot be like Saint Eknath above and do it every time.

However, forgiveness strengthens relationships, as long as the person who seeks to be forgiven does not commit a deliberate wrongful act. It does result in peace and lengthens / strengthens such relationships.

Forgiveness cannot be thrust upon a person because it is he who feels the impact of an act that hurt him. We cannot place ourselves in the shoes of another person because each one is built in a different way. However, people make mistakes but they should not be made to pay for the rest of their lives. Further, it takes a strong person to say sorry, but a stronger person to forgive. Life is actually easier when to learn to accept sincere apologies. There can be no peace without forgiveness because if don't bury the hatchet, the vengeance will continue to be in your heart till you commit an act the other person do to you. Can you repent at that time?

Remember - forgiveness cannot  change the past, but it can change the future. It leads to reconciliation and more importantly, peace.

Real(i)ty check

I had to shift my house recently for personal reasons. I was staying in Govandi, a suburb on the Harbour line (Bombay divides itself based on the train lines that ply through it - Central, Western and Harbour lines are the three lines that ply through). I was paying an amount of Rs.15K as rent since the owner was acquainted to me. I was not aware of the rent trends since this was a deal agreed upon at the time of shifting from Madras. The necessity to shift led to the need to look out for apartments. It was when the reality of realty hit me like a bolt from the blue. The rents in the place where I was staying were close to double of what I was paying. A bit farther, in New Bombay (upto Nerul, which was what I thought of limiting myself to) rents had grown in humongous proportions since I left in early 2008. Rentals for a flat in the same society that I was staying till 2008, for which I was paying Rs.7.5k was going for Rs.31K!

With a tight budget, every day of search brought in a new shock and I was flummoxed. Staying in small places makes me claustrophobic and after seeing the sizes of one bed apartments at various locations, I concluded that I had to settle for a two bed apartment. There is this concept of a 1.5 bed apartment (I don't like using the work BHK - Bedroom, Hall, Kitchen - as I think a Hall and a Kitchen are an inevitable must to every home) which I got acquainted with. Now, this 0.5 of a bedroom is almost like a World War bunker, making it a crime to call it half a bedroom! The rents for the 1 and 1.5 bed apartments were not much different from the two bed ones, making a lot of sense to go for two bed apartments itself.

However, the advantage of searching for apartments on rent (or even purchase) is the availability of online websites like magicbricks, comonfloor et al which make it easier to choose without going to the actual location. Moreover, brokers are really wired these days and send you the photographs of the apartments through social media, which makes your decision making easier.

After days of impatience and added tension as work at office was at its peak during this period, I managed to zero in on one really nice apartment in faraway Thane - a good 30 kms from office, a far cry from a 11km hop skip and jump from my previous house.

While I thought I would drive down, five trips on consecutive days over the last week put paid to that thought. Neither does it make economic nor environmental sense to do that! I can't be an armchair preacher on pollution.

So after 8 years, I would be taking public / contract transport. Life has come a full circle.

Bull**** over bull fights...can we ban horse racing then?

For the second year running, Tamil Nadu has ‘celebrated’ (‘observed’, if you ask the affected) the harvest festival of Pongal without the traditional “Jallikattu”, a ‘sport’ where bulls are ‘tamed’. A loaded statement, if you see the number of words in inverted commas!

 

(image source:www.maduraitravelclub.com)

The tradition of Jallikattu extends to many years, the days of yore when taming a bull was considered a ‘macho’ thing. It still is, in the interior parts of the state. In many states, actually. Taming a wild bull is appreciated as a display of masculinity.

The Supreme Court, on a petition from animal rights activists has gone ahead and banned the sport. The petition cited that "In just four years, from 2010 to 2014, approximately 1,100 injuries to humans were reported by the media as a result of cruel and dangerous jallikattu-type events and 17 people died..." It is no secret that there are injuries caused to the bulls - the way some of them are prepared for the event is itself not for the weak-hearted.

We come once again to the agenda of the animal rights activists and their point of view.

What about the slaughter of innumerable goats, chicken and bulls / buffaloes at abattoirs? Where are these activists when these things happen? What about the matadors who impale the bulls in bullfighting contests in Spain? There is an allegation that the only duty of the Animal Welfare Board in India is its arm twisting when it comes to providing certificates for animals to be used in movies.

The impact on the economy and the lives of people who are dependent on this sport needs to be taken into account while arriving at a decision on the ‘sport’. In fact, banning the sport has an impact on the animals too. These animals are bred and made to live a life which they would not be otherwise provided. Now they head straight to the abattoirs!

There needs to be a balance between tradition and banning such conventions. Where these things are part of conventions and life as such, a ban should be something that is thought of before a judgement is delivered. Why not adopt a middle path? Allow this with conditions? With neutral observers?

Can we ban horse racing? Why don’t we do it? Why should horses be made to race? Isn’t it a form of cruelty? Many horses are castrated so that their masculinity is ‘diverted’ to running the race. In many cases the horses which lose the race are shot and killed. Which law says that you can use an animal for racing but cannot use another for another sport? Who are the observers who lord over horse racing? And pray, where are these animal rights activists when horses thunder in the Guindy, Mahalaxmi, Ooty and other race courses in the country? One rule for the rich and another for the rest? The law bans certain animals like bulls as 'performing animals'. When horses are used to race, aren't they 'performing'?

I am a vegetarian but I know that the world is predominantly non-vegetarian. How do we get the animals to our plate? Do we wait for them to die because of natural causes and then cook and eat them? One visit to a slaughter house and you may never eat meat again. For example, take chicken, which is the most commonly consumed non-vegetarian item in India - how are these chicken grown for food? How are their necks wrung so as to kill them and de-feather them? Do you know that when they are dumped in boiling water, many of them are still alive? Fish? Aren't we 'killing' them before eating them? So are the activists, who would also be predominantly non-vegetarian, going to ban non-vegetarian food as well ?  

India, nay, the world, has never been kind to animals. We will never be. It arises to the primary nature of existence – the fitter survives. It is the cycle of life. The finest things in this world come from man’s greed and his way of showing superiority over animals – from food to wool, leather etc. How many people use faux stuff?

Let rationality creep in, please.

Of books and a lost collection...

'That's the thing about books. They let you travel without moving your feet.'

- Jhumpa Lahiri (author of "The Namesake")

“I grabbed my book and opened it up. I wanted to smell it. Heck, I wanted to kiss it. Yes, kiss it. That's right, I am a book kisser. Maybe that's kind of perverted or maybe it's just romantic and highly intelligent.”

― Sherman Alexie, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

'A book is a dream that you hold in your hand.'

–Neil Gaiman

'I think of life as a good book. The further you get into it, the more it begins to make sense.'

–Harold Kushner

'If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking.'

–Haruki Murakami

'In a good book the best is between the lines.'

–Swedish Proverb

'Are we not like two volumes of one book?'

–Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

'I can’t imagine a man really enjoying a book and reading it only once.'

–C.S. Lewis

(image source: www.marketmy book.in)

Over the past month, I had to go frequently to Fort (South Bombay) for certain court related matters. There are a lot of roadside bookshops in that area. I would invariably stop and pick up some which are a value for money proposition.

I read more non-fiction than fiction. I find non-fiction stranger and more interesting than fiction. After all fiction is imagination and non-fiction is what actually happened. However, whatever books I buy, I have a special fascination for children's books. Comics, novels and magazines - Tinkle, Amar Chitra Katha, Chandamama, Enid Blyton, Franklin Dixon, R K Narayan...the list is endless. Even today, I love reading them.

When I was a kid, I used to buy a lot of these magazines. But it invariably used to be from a waste paper mart - only second hand books. The thrill of finding a book not in your collection available for a pittance at a second hand shop for me is an experience I cherish always. My parents were only too happy to oblige. My only rule was that I would spend more than Rs.2 for a book! The majority of the books I bought ranged from 50 paise to Re.1. I would never buy a new book. I have bought books for 25 paise too! My biggest collection, apart from novels, was that of comics - mostly Amar Chitra Katha and Tinkle. A bit of Indrajal and Diamond here and there.

The thing about these books is that with their language and accompanying illustrations,  they transport you to a new world altogether.  Princes, princesses,  commoners, ghosts, goblins, picture perfect places - all leapt out of those books! Primarily the ability of the tales in those books is to transport send you to a world which was imaginary,  but real and one where you live for a period of time. 

I had a collection of more than 350 Amar Chitra Katha books (out of a total of only 436 titles printed then), a hundred odd Chandamama and equally handsome number of tinkle and tinkle digest books. I used to read and read re-read them again and again. They had to allocate additional and bigger racks at home to accommodate my never-ending collection.

I still remember the quality of the language in those books.  'Bajan Gupta,  the great miser,  once had a recurring dream....'.  "Dark was the night and weird the atmosphere..... But King Vikram swerved not..." The words stick with me even today.

I and my brother used to pick old binding covers of books from printing press shops and manually bind volumes of ten books each. We would get the ends cut through machines at the press. Then cover them with old calendar papers so that the white background would be visible outside. We would then neatly number and name them in myriad colours with various sketch pens.

I was immensely happy with my collection  after all it was  a  culmination of painstaking effort. A couple of racks in the house were allocated only for these books. Whenever I was down,  I used to see my collection and derive happiness and inspiration.  I was very proud of my collection because they were not bought off the shelf but put together like a sparrow collecting grain - from various nooks and corners of Madras city.

When I left for Bombay to join my present job in February 2002, my folks shifted from the first floor to the ground floor of the house.  They also moved my books,  I hear(!).  But, all those books were lost.  Even today they are unable to tell me what happened to those books which were so painstakingly collected -  most of them are not in print today.  When I think of what happened to my collection,  I am moved to tears even today.    Inconsolable.

I have started building my library again.  The issue is that my son does not seem to share my passion of reading. Hence if I collect,  it has to be for myself. I hope to find the same books.  Today I am willing to pay more. But awareness about private collections is more and these books are hard to find nowadays.

I know I may not find these old books again...but the thrill of stopping at an old book store with fond hope still remains. Ah, the smell of an old book!

Yesterdays and tomorrows

 

 (image source: www.quotesgram.com)

Dead is yesterday, unborn is tomorrow, why fret about them if today be sweet? 

-  Omar Khaiyyam (1048-1131) Persian, astronomer, philosopher, poet  in 'Rubaiyat'

“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday”

- Anonymous

“You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future”

- Anonymous

There comes a time in your life when you realize who will always matter, who does matter, and who never did.  So don’t worry about people from your past; there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.”

– Anonymous

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.

-Leo Buscaglia (1924-1998 American author and motivational speaker

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.

- Elbert Hubbard, American writer (1856-1915) in The Note Book (1927)

A hundred load of worry will not pay an ounce of debt.

 - George Herbert, Welsh poet (1593-1633)

There are two days in the week about which I never worry… Yesterday and tomorrow.

 - Robert Jones Burdette, American humorist (1844-1914).

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

- Charles M. Schulz US cartoonist (1922 - 2000)

If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

-Don Herold American humorist (1889-1966).

“The past is history, tomorrow’s a mystery, so today is all we have. It’s a GIFT, that’s why it’s called the PRESENT.” 

-Bil Keane, American cartoonist (1922-2011)

In 2006, my then boss was due for promotion. There was ambiguity over the dates of the interview and the same was getting prolonged. At a stage, it was clear that the only certainty about the interview was that it would continue to be uncertain. While a lot of prospective interviewees had tension writ large on their faces, my boss was calm and his face belied any tension, if there was any. However there did not seem to be any. I asked him as to how he was able to not think of the impending interview whereas his colleagues were thinking only of it. What he said was - "Tomorrow is uncertain. Let me cross the bridge when it comes. Why worry about it today?"

A very poignant message. Can we carry on life without thinking of yesterday or tomorrow? I seem to think only of yesterday and tomorrow that I fail to live in the present. Almost all the time!

Let us talk about these two days. First, Yesterday. Can you change the past? Yesterday is gone…forever. None of us can bring it back again. All the money in this world cannot bring back yesterday. The calendar will still show today. All our actions of yesterday have been committed and cannot be undone. We cannot take back what we said. We can apologise perhaps, but it is not going to take back what we say. My father tells me all the time to be careful of the words I use - simply because one cannot take them back.  It has happened. But we can learn lessons from those mistakes and not repeat them. Take the sweetest memories of the past and move on. Though we cannot just switch off and stop thinking of yesterday, we should not get embroiled in its thoughts.

Life does not have an "UNDO" button like Microsoft Office., though many of us (I, for one - God, please give me one!) would want it to exist. There were people, situations, things, events, actions, words that I feel I should not have been part of but was. Assume that the "UNDO" button exists. Still, will life be perfect? No. Once you use the undo button, you will want to use it over and over again. The reason is that satisfaction is something unknown to man.

Tomorrow! Ah, about tomorrow, the less said, the better. Atleast you lived yesterday, were part of it. You don't even know whether you will be there tomorrow! Isn't it? We do not know what will happen the next moment. Tomorrow is like the other side of the moon. You will never see it. What’s going to happen will happen whether we worry about it or not. Actually, we do not have any stake in tomorrow! We need to take it as it comes. It may bring adversity or happiness, which we do not know today.

Assume you have to fight Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow. Or you have to fight Today. Which fight will you win? You will never win a fight against Yesterday and Tomorrow. Today, yes, you can. Dump the bitterness of yesterday as well as the fear of tomorrow and today will be sweet.

The first person who has to read this post over and over, comprehend and practise it is its writer!