The Hindu makes a tepid debut in Mumbai

The Hindu made its much awaited debut in Bombay (Mumbai) on Saturday, November 28, 2015. Rushed to the newsstand on my two wheeler to get a copy from the nearest news stand in Chembur - three kms away. After all, The Hindu is a Madrasi's pride and a regular reading habit with the filter coffee. I forked out a five rupee coin and asked him, 'The Hindu, please!'

He said 'eight rupees.' Eight rupees? Oh he must be referring to the Chennai edition that is airlifted by airmail, I thought. Then I told him, 'Buddy, it is launching today in Mumbai. I need the Mumbai edition.' He looked at me with a smirk and said, 'That right. I am talking about the Mumbai edition only'. 'Ok, must be a special issue with loads of information. Must be a collectors' edition', I thought.

I forked out the extra three rupees and he handed over to me a thin newspaper, the ones those tabloids with Baba Bengali ads come in. My face fell! Is this really the Mumbai debut edition? Remembering his smirk, I once again double checked the newspaper before wanting to ask him any further query. Yes it was indeed the Mumbai edition. Eight rupees, 22 pages. Is this the broadsheet I was awaiting?

Already half-sunk, I took it home, to scan it from cover to cover. Just a few features here and there and some self aggrandisement and quotes welcoming it to Mumbai. The same dull font and ... the paper got over even as I was about to commence reading.

What was The Hindu thinking? Atleast they could have syndicated some supplement from the Madras (Chennai) edition. And at that rate!

I guess it is banking on the competitive exam aspirants and the South Indian (read: predominantly Tamil) population as its target audience.

I heard that a thinner Sunday edition came at 10 rupees. Did not bother to ride three kms back and forth again.

My first guitar class....

I started the day with images of Jimi Hendrix and Prasanna in my mind.  After long lost,  I had decided to join a music class. Romanticized imagery of movie heroes playing to heroines flashing  in my mind,  I set out in my car.   

'Good morning madam'.  'Your guitar strings are rusted; will change them next class' she said.  Then the class began.  'Hold the guitar properly,  The curve should rest on your thigh'  she said.  'OK,  first lesson,  I thought'.   

'EADGBE'  she said.  'What?'  'These are the names of the strings: memorize them!'  ' Can't someone name the strings in the ascending or descending order?  123456 -  isn't that easy?'  'No it is this way'.  OK, next lesson please.  

'Play the frets as per order' she said.  'Fret?'  'The gap between two strings is a fret'.  No use fretting over it,  I thought.  

I then held the pick and played my first lesson.  The moment u finished the steps, I forgot them!  This went on for 30 minutes. The fingers of the left hand hurt. One of them actually told me that it is bleeding.   

In came kids my son's age.  They opened their kits and started playing songs.  When they were playing,  it looked so easy to me that I thought of asking her - madam,  can I play these first?  Well in a seven course meal,  dessert comes last.  So off I was to practise again.   

The kids making noise, my morning bereft of breakfast and the trundle of the lesson all made me feel giddy.  Actually giddy!  I consciously avoided looking at the time lest the teacher mistake my interest for the class,  or the lack of it.   

Then one of the kids shouted,  'Hey let us play Rockstar!'  'Rockstar,  seriously?  The A R Rahman album?' Even as I was thinking,  they started playing with the finesse of a guitarist in Rahman's band!  Man, are they playing or play acting,  I thought.   

I was tempted to ask again -  can I start with the songs?  But no.   

You are missing the open positions' she said. 'What are they?' 'The ones where you don't touch the frets' 'Oh, will attempt again,  Madam'   

The right portion of my chest started crying.  Can't take it anymore,  it said.  My play or whatever it was started getting slower n slower.  I was about to crash.   

Then........... 

........ she uttered those magic words 'PACK UP!' Guitar to my ears.   

I just got up and was moving towards the exit when she came and thrust a paper onto my hands.  'Memorize these next time when u come to class'  she said.   

I looked at the paper.  Numbers.  Letters.  Combinations of numbers and words. Should things in life be so difficult?   

I left the class,  with one objective in mind -  I will come to the next class only after having breakfast!'