Gratitude

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”

– Anonymous.

“What is done in return for something previously done can never be as great as the deed born out of sheer generosity, be it ever so small by itself.”

-        The Upanishads

“At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”

– Albert Schweitzer

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

– Melody Beattie

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others.”

– Marcus Tullius Cicero

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”

– Cynthia Ozick

A cursory internet search for the word ‘gratitude’ throws up the following as its meaning:

“the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.”

A friend of mine and I were having a discussion a fortnight ago on the things that have been elusive in life. You know, as with all these discussions, it veered down to:

“I want this..”,

“I want that…”,

“I don’t have this yet..”,

“I aspire…”,

“If only I had this…”

and so on. I, as much as her, was feeling mildly miserable, frustrated. Life seemed empty, as happens during these discussions.

During the course of the discussion, somehow, it turned to what we have in life. Surprisingly, the answers were:

“I have this...”,

“I have that…”,

“I have that too…”,

“Yes, I got this, that…”

“Of course I do…”

“I am happy that...”

“Oh, that’s a relief, you know…”

and what not.

At the end of it all, it left both me and her, happy. Satisfied. Contented. Perhaps, even relieved at times. It left me thinking. What happened during the conversation was that it had two portions – one a portion about what we (seemingly, at times) don’t have and the other was what we have. When we were conversing about what we have, we were feeling fulfilled. It was an expression of gratification, thankfulness.

This is not to say that one must not have ambition, but to make it consume you at the expense of gratitude does no good to you.

As much as I come to think about it and realise, I am convinced that the feeling of gratitude is positive. It releases endorphins, chemically speaking, and is an antidote to depression. When we keep thinking of what we don’t have – that car, those few thousands, that elusive relationship….we get depressed. We feel powerless; this leads to negativity and toxicity setting in.

There is a lot of science behind gratitude and it is important for good mental health; researches and studies prove the constructive effects of gratitude. There is no need for research to convince you about it; one has to just practice it to experience it. That will be your own research.  

Now the all-important question – how to practice gratitude?

Oh, that is so easy.

Mentally, take note of the good things that happen around you. Feel thankful in your head for each of those. If possible, which is in most cases, say “thank you” to the person who made it happen. It might even be a waiter serving your food, a person delivering a parcel, or anyone who says ‘Good morning’ to you! – the latter, more so, because the person bothered to remember you! I have always made it a point to thank anyone and everyone who adds little things to my life, even the most mundane of things. A smile in return adds to my day. There’s nothing like a smile to make you feel good, at times momentarily. Real gratitude lies in expressing it. It is easy, free and adds to the happiness of both the giver and the taker.

“If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies with yourself.” Tecumseh (1768–1813), Native American leader. So there are reasons and reasons for thanking.

I go back to my moral science classes where they taught you the simplest of things – three magic words – ‘Sorry’, ‘Please’ and ‘Thanks’!

In fact, there is even a Thanksgiving Day, a national holiday celebrated on various dates in the United States, Canada and other countries. Though there are religious connotations to it, it began as a day of giving thanks ‘and sacrifice for the blessing of the harvest and of the preceding year.

See the beauty in all things. Life’s uncertain. I wrote this on my twitter handle recently – ‘Everyday, you move 24 hours closer to your death. That is a morbidly profound quote. It indeed makes you do more every hour. If you ask me, gratitude should be on the top of such to-do list!