If only..

“It is in my nature to excel in whatever I do”

“Life has put me through a wringer”

"No one can get anything out of me or subdue me by threats, harsh treatment; it only makes me more stubborn, inflexible, unbending, determined. The only way anyone can get me to cooperate is to be nice to me, pamper me, cajole me, talk to me kindly, softly."

“I don’t understand the word platonic. Either there is a romantic relationship between two people or they are just friends.”

“The experiences I have been through, the suffering and pain have taught me an important lesson: in life there is one person you must rely on—yourself.”

“When you are a leader, you learn to control your emotions. You learn not to show your emotions openly. You have to”

The experiences I have been through, the suffering and pain have taught me an important lesson: in life there is one person you must rely on—yourself.

“…Now I am my own person. I have evolved. Hereafter, I am responsible only for myself. Never again will anybody influence me to such an extent that all my thoughts and actions and statements are influenced and made in a particular way just because someone else wants it that way."

”I am human, like everyone else. I do experience emotions and, I wouldn’t be normal if I didn’t experience feelings of anger and other emotions”

- All quotes from the internet attributed to Ms.J Jayalalithaa, former Chief Minister, Tamil Nadu (1948-2016)

The sea of crowds was not a surprise; in any other case, it could have also been managed (not saying it was; in fact, it was not in her case) but the near national level influence (and to some extent, international, going by news reports of international channels and newspapers reporting the passing away of a state level politician) of a lady who had not really gone beyond the ramparts of her Madras Fort was surprising to me. Non-Tamil Nadu governments declared holidays; CMs from almost every state made a beeline to pay their last respects; news channels telecast only about her for two days and then beamed her final journey live. Kind of unbelievable, the clout or influence she had.

I am kind of surprised because she was not a national level politician except for a stint at the Rajya Sabha more than 20 years back. It would be wrong to conclude that her influence was because of the numbers she cobbled up at the Lok Sabha. So what made her tick?

A state topper in class ten, she led a highly regimented life. She says that all her life, she was accustomed to working very hard – even at the age of four, she had to get up at five in the morning, have classical Carnatic music lessons, go to school, return, attend dance classes, complete homework, have dinner and fall into bed – Phew, man, that is something for a baby who has just grown into a kid. Once she was pushed into the film industry by her mother, she worked even six shifts a day - all through her film career, she never had any time to rest or sleep. It was work, work, and work all the time.

Someone about whom every other person only uses the words ‘brilliant’ ‘excellent’ and every single superlative, glorifying English epithet in the book must really be something. Indeed, she was.

One of the most avid readers on the planet, she could speak on anything – the relevance of the nuclear deal to the mid day meal scheme. There is a story of her as a kid buying so many books from Higginbothams, Madras in the early 60s. She was in two fields – movies and politics - by chance and not by choice; but excelled in both.

Not to take anything away from her, but her ascent was also helped by the fact that there was no real challenger to her in terms of grace, poise and most importantly – intellect. When you see too many mediocre people around you, you are bound to get a bit haughty.“When you are as great as I am, it is difficult to be humble” - So said Muhammad Ali, world boxing champion. I guess she was like that. When you find men either drooling over you all the time or the others devoid of much grey matter, it is bound to, at some level, make you super confident and push this thing into your mind – ‘Hey, come on, treat them with disdain’. One look at her quotes above and one can realize what sort of a person she was.

Yes, she was someone with super administrative capabilities which were the cornerstone of many of her decisions and perhaps the reasons for her being returned to office – the first in almost 30 years. The bureaucrats respected her – it was a relief for them to have someone who was intelligent, knew how to run a state, grasp things, and dole out advice.

It is even fascinating as to how she managed to put seasoned wily politicians in the shade with her own brand of politics. Yes, a lot of vitriol, but that is how politics is – they drag you to their level and expect you to play them down there. Being a lady, she was subject to the butt of innuendo, irreverence by many – inside and outside her party. These harboured in her, a distrust for others rather early in life, which only swelled by the day. This also resulted in her targeting even the right people at times. She felt that in politics men think a woman is dispensable and they try to destroy her existence, which is true till today. Multiple examples abound. Women are hated for just being women. In many spheres of life, why only politics?

I would have ideally liked to see her as the Prime Minister of India. It makes me think, and really think as to what she would have done if she had occupied that seat.

The biggest mistake she did and for which she does not get the vote of many, including mine, is her company and the way she allowed such company to dominate, even overshadow her completely – whether in administration or politics or personal life. It has left a bad taste in the mouth and has stunted all that she could have achieved. It is intriguing as to how such a powerful personality could have such an Achilles’ heel. That ultimately proved to be her undoing. If not for the pusillanimous courts, the very short public memory and a very weak opposition, she would not have been as deified as she has been today.

That also makes me wonder, who she would have been if not for that company – and it is wondrous, indeed. Sigh.