Should do you give up?

Arise, awake and rest not until the goal is reached. The greatest sin is to think yourself weak

-        Swami Vivekananda

It is always darkest just before the Day dawneth.

-        Old proverb

The Mind is everything; what you think , you become

-        The Buddha

The real sign of weakness in anyone is yielding to dualities & running away from their overriding duty of the moment.

-   The Bhagavad Gita

We should not give up and allow the problem to defeat us.

-        Dr.APJ Abdul Kalam

Fall seven times and stand up eight.

-        Japanese Proverb

A winner is just a loser who tried one more time.

-        George M. Moore Jr. (1862-1940), Member U.S. House of Representatives

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.

-        Walter Elliot (1888-1958), Scottish politician

Rise and rise again until lambs become lions

― Robin Hood

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

-        Thomas Edison (1874-1931), inventor of the light bulb

A failure is not always a mistake. The real mistake is to stop trying.

-        B.F. Skinner (1904-1990), American psychologist

You may be the only person left who believes in you, but it's enough. It takes just one star to pierce a universe of darkness. Never give up.”

-         Richelle E. Goodrich

(images source: www.dailymail.co.uk)

A few days back, one of the shocking sights in football happened. No, not the English exit out of Euro ’16, bowing out to minnows Iceland, but that of Lionel Messi, one of football's superstars.

Copa America 2016. He had his moment. Just one penalty shot. He has taken scores of such shots throughout his life. It should have been a cakewalk. After all for a man who has scored breathtaking goals throughout his life for his clubs and country, this should have been a stroll in the park. But it was not to be. At a very crucial moment, that too in the final against Chile, his legs, eyes and what not deceived him. And millions of Argentines and fans throughout the world.

How could a sporting hero do that? I mean, THAT! Or, how could it ‘happen’ to him? Flabbergasted, people at the stadium and television screens around the world stared with disbelief, the sight of a hero, a champion who has won the Ballon d’Or (Golden Ball)  five times - on his knees. Another Cup final lost. Fourth, in fact. Out of the four, three major finals in three years - the 2016 and 2015 Copa America finals, as well as the 2014 World Cup final. Ah, cruel is fate!

Then came the shocker - from Messi himself - that he won’t play for Argentina again. Yes, "For me, the national team is over," he said. "I've done all I can. It hurts not to be a champion. It's been four finals, I tried. It was the thing I wanted the most, but I couldn't get it, so I think it's over.

In short, he gave up. Colloquially, he ‘threw in the towel’.

Why did he do it? He could not bear the heartache of another loss. Typically, he was done. He tried and during this trying he had waited. Waited for every Cup event. Fought hard and got into the final. On the big day, he did not get up on the right side of the bed. Pipped at the post, every time.

It is understandable. There is a point of time when we feel that it is over. Not worth trying anymore. So when do we give up. Or should we give up at all?

All of us have goals in our lives. Small ones. Big ones. A big one replacing a small one. A passion. A goal that induces a passion. We work towards attaining that goal, in our own way. We make all efforts. It consumes us. The goal, that is. We suffer the pangs while at it. We stretch ourselves, body and mind to attain that goal. While we are at it, we honestly and sincerely believe that we will indeed attain that goal, that reward.

However, for some strange reason, it remains still unattainable. Or perhaps, patience has run out. Is it right to give up? The best judge, of course, is you. But, one needs to understand certain things before taking the decision to give up.

The first one is the easiest one – can you achieve it? Or are you mired in self-doubt? If you can still achieve it, then why give up?

“It’s easy to be afraid; you have to let fear go. Another lesson is you just have to believe in yourself. You just have to. There’s no way around it. You’ve got to believe in yourself. No matter how things are stacked against you, you just have to, every time.”  So said Venus Williams, when asked as to how cold she motivate herself to play. Her sister, Serena Williams,  just made history, securing her 22nd Grand Slam title - making history by drawing her level with Steffi Graf as the joint-most successful women in tennis in the Open Era. To put matters in perspective, Serena lost three Open finals in her pursuit to equal Steffi but never lost her motivation to continue with her goal.

Can you live without attaining that goal? This takes some hard knocking, but if you can be rational about it, you can get the answer. The reasons can range from physiological to self actualisation because every person has a different reason for a goal.

What do you lose if you give up? It is something that would have a wide ranging, far reaching emotional impact or can it fritter away?  One’s effort would be futile if the goal is something that is not going to make him/her feel better. It should give a sense of fulfillment.

Then, can there be a substitute goal that can back up as a balm and not make you feel crushed? It is about lowering the bar. It could be self-defeating for people. Some even feeling self deprecating. But, keep in mind; you cannot go after a mirage.

The other thing which people say is that have little goals which are sub-sets of the bigger goal. Try achieving these small ones. They will make you realise that you are on the correct track and motivate you to achieving the bigger goal. The path of pursuit sometimes can also be life-altering.

The other thing that pops as a question is that is the dream or goal consuming you? One can make compromises in life; but life itself should not be a compromise. One should keep in mind that a victory should not be pyrrhic – just like King Ashoka felt after the Kalinga War. It should not be you holding a piece of paper that is just a testimony to the goal – it should make you savour it.

The advantage of giving up is that once you decide, there will be no more tears, suffering or guilt pangs bothering you. The mind returns to churning thoughts with clarity.  However, the fear of failure should not be a reason to give up. There are times when you feel that people may get judgemental about you. This should never be a reason for giving up. Remember, you tried. Tried your best. Can you try longer? If so, why give up?

Similarly, think of all the efforts you put all the time in attaining the goal. Do you really want to give up at a time when you are perhaps close to your goal? Believe that you can, and you will. Sometimes, to your astonishment!

Emotions play a huge part in all our decisions. The heart controls the head. When it is so, never take a decision. Or still, just decide opposite to what the heart says as it is an emotional push.

Giving up should make your life better. If not, just continue doing it. One day, you will attain it. In fact, success is often ‘just around the corner’, as is repeatedly said. One of my friends always has this to say – “What is your end game?”  If you are able to get that clear, deciding on giving up or continuing becomes easier.

Winning is not everything. It is the 'only' thing. Yes?