From Mylapore to Melbourne via Massachusetts - I

January 2005. They were walking along the shores of the Elliots beach. She was immersed in the interplay of words as his lips opened and closed. How articulate!  Ah!  Did English sound sweeter before? "You will be the most special person in my life," he said, during the course of the conversation. The waves were lapping the shores a few metres away, but she felt as if she was walking on water. She already felt special. She could not wait for the marriage to happen. For once, she could not wait to change her single status. For the two weeks he was in Madras, he used to come every day to Kalakshetra, India's premier dance school, to see her dance. After the dance, they would go for long walks at the Theosophical society, Adayar, with only trees for company.

"You are poetry in motion", he told her. "You define  grace!". She felt numb in the foot. Goosebumps. No one can make a woman feel great, special, wonderful than a man. She blushed every time she looked at him. She would not even look at him: not out of fear, but out of the fact that his gaze was so strong enough to make her go numb again. Never did she think that there could be someone could change her life so much. It was to change even more, later.

Malini Srinivasan, 25, married Ramesh Sridharan, 28, a software engineer, on May 15, 2005, just four months later. She left, dreamy eyed to Massachusetts. From Mylapore, Madras, to Massachusetts. For a life that a lady would die for. She was an engineer, having done electronics at Anna University, Madras, with distinction. She was working with TCS, when this proposal came through a mutual friend of her mother. A trained dancer, she loved dance so much that she would take days off sometimes only to dance at Kalakshetra. After initial resistance, she agreed to meet him. Within three meetings, he had her hooked. Confidence, such articulate English on tap, impeccable demeanour.... no wonder even a level headed girl like Malini, not someone so enamoured of romance, fell in love.

Massachusetts was to prove to be a game changer.

She was there on a dependent visa. A plush apartment, tastefully furnished.

"What should I cook for you? ' she asked. "My first dish and I want it to be special. I will try my best."

Malini was one of the new age women but all said and done, many women do feel obligated to their husbands as if they are born to serve them, perhaps? That's crude, but it is like that.

"Malini, I have a meeting tonight. I would not be having dinner." 

"But we have just moved in. I thought you would be on leave, so that we can spend time together."

"We don't have a choice but to see each other most of the time, isn't it? So, why should a few days be special?  I have a meeting, I said.''

"But...,"  she started, fumbling for words.

"I believe I have told you in clear words, Malini. I am not one who likes repeating things. Understand?" Firm, in an elevated voice.

He left, closing the door behind him. For the first time, she had seen a different Ramesh. She spent the next three hours looking at the unseasonal rain outside and exploring the house. The rooms were furnished, with air conditioning. Portraits of flowers, women and random buildings adorned the living room and a bedroom. One bedroom was locked. It was very unusual, for one room in a house to be locked. It was his.

Three hours later, he unlocked the door and come in. The sudden unlocking of the door startled Malini, who had by then dozed off on the sofa.

"Who is it?" she stammered.

"It's me who else?"

"You did not knock?  Was the door open? I locked it from inside, I think." 

'I own this house. I have the keys. Wouldn't that be obvious?"  he said, walking straight and unlocking the lock to his room.

She heard the door close behind him. She waited for around fifteen minutes for him to come out. Or so, she thought. There was silence. Absolute silence until the rain started pouring again. She pulled herself to the other room, sat and lay down... All in slow motion. Lack of food and new found anxiety only aggravated her restlessness and consequently, there was no sleep. Sleep trickled in, late. It was around 8 in the morning when she got up. She awoke to sounds in the kitchen. She saw him making coffee. Cereal and fruit were on the table.

"Good morning," she managed.  "What are you having?"  "It's evident, what I am having", he said, with a tinge of retort in his voice.

"Why are you doing this? What has happened? I am unable to understand what is going on. Are you the same Ramesh? Things are strange...."  she said. He banged the porcelain cup on the table. Without saying anything further, he left.  Malini was left confounded by the sudden change in the behaviour of her husband. He had not spoken much on the plane and was growing curt by the day. There was no phone in the house for her to even socialise. Her mobile phone did not have a sim card that worked in the US.  

Two days passed and the weekend was upon them. The two days were no different – Ramesh leaving early morning and crashing in late in the night.

On Saturday, he took Malini to the Walmart superstore to buy stuff for the house. Boy, wasn’t she relieved, finally coming out of the confines of the house! He took her to a Starbucks cafe and bought her an American breakfast. She was really surprised to see the old Ramesh back again, atleast shades of him. He did not speak much, just about things to be bought for the house, but was very polite to her. She listened, occasionally chipping in, mostly bewildered by the sudden change in manners and conduct. So was it the work pressure at office? Maybe.

They bought stuff at Walmart. While at the billing section, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and.....”Shilpa! What are you doing here?” “I stay here. Long time no see!” Ramesh was surprised to see a friend of Malini, that too thousands of miles away.  

“Who is she?” asked Ramesh when they were in the car. “A friend of mine from college,” she said. The ice appeared to be broken but the conditions were still frosty. Whenever in a relationship, things go bad, it does take time for things to improve.

He took her to an Asian restaurant for lunch. Malini was still reeling under the swamp of kindness when he said, “We need to go to a party tonight. My office mates want to see you,” as a matter of fact. She looked at him and nodded her head.

Ah. So was all of this just for getting her to the party?

Human mind thrives on hope – hope for the difficult, for the nice, for the beautiful. So was Malini, hoping that this was not a flash in the pan. Did she have any choice?

Decked up in all South Indian finesse, she went to the party with him. At the table, there was further surprise that lay in store – he brought a woollen shawl and covered her shoulders, with everyone clapping. “What chivalry!” someone in the crowd muttered. Though Malini undoubtedly felt better, something inside her made her mix optimism with caution.

The drive back home was largely silent. He then went to his room and locked himself in. Malini was tired and went to bed. The next day she found him awake and having coffee.

“What shall I cook for lunch?”

“I don’t want anything ...I would be going out for lunch.”

“But isn’t today Sunday?”

“I never meant otherwise!”

“So yesterday was just for the outside world, isn’t it? Nice play acting!”

Malini could not help a snide remark. Suddenly, in a flash, she found his coffee cup had flown from his hand, past her, only to be stopped by the wall and break into pieces. She was too shocked to speak. This was the first time, apart from the banging of the coffee cup the other day, that he had shown signs of physical aggressive behaviour.

“You stop being judgemental about me!” he growled, throwing his chair backwards and proceeding to his room.