Are you ruled by your heart or your head?

"The longest journey a man must take is the eighteen inches from his head to his heart."

 - Unknown

“Follow your heart but take your brain with you."

- Alfred W. Adler, Austrian medical doctor, founder of the school of individual psychology

"Sometimes your heart defies everything you know is right sometimes it overrules your head and it wins the battle between love and logic let it happen, love will always be more important than logic"

- Unknown

“My brain has no heart, my heart has no brain. That's why when I speak my mind, I seem heartless. When I do what is in my heart, I seem thoughtless.”

- Unknown

Read the above quotes again. Confused?

There was a fairly successful Tamil movie called Ullam Ketkume (The heart will ask) (released in 2005) which was a campus love story with a touch of practical events surrounding life.

In the movie, one of the characters says to the other, that some people are 'Mind rulers' (meaning practical; who are guided by their head while taking decisions) compared to some others who are 'Heart rulers' (meaning who are emotional, (perhaps) more sensitive and who are guided by their heart while taking decisions).

(image source: http://www.livebreathediscover.com/)

The debate rages as to who takes decisions better and who gets benefited the most out of the approach they undertake. It boils down to whether you are rational or emotional while approaching some important issue and taking decisions in general. When it comes to choices, whether big or small, the approaches of individuals tend to come to the fore.

Is it a good thing to go with one or the other? Let us find out.

People who are ruled by their heart try to bring a passion in their approach to life. They care about things, people, situations and are affected when their feelings are not reciprocated. They do things because they want to. They are intuitive. You can make such people revisit issues where they have taken decisions because they are willing to give a second chance to you. They appear to have moved on, but, somewhere on the back of their head, the issue tends to linger. Compassion comes automatically to them. They are generally generous to a fault and very forgiving.

Those ruled by the head try to bring logic in their approach to life. While they do have an eye on things, people and situations, they go ahead with decisions even when it tends to affect the other where they could have possibly sat and rethink the issue. It is very difficult to make them revisit decisions they have taken, particularly ones where human interface / relationships are involved. They are able to move on once they take a decision and do not bother to revisit decisions because someone tells them to. You cannot categorise them as 'not compassionate' but, when compared to people ruled by the heart, they are largely unemotional when it comes to that trait. They can be unforgiving when it comes to a mistake.

A person who is a mind ruler seems to be more focussed in moving forward in life but can come across as icy, unemotional and dispassionate at times. A heart ruler could seem to be stuck in a warp and can come across as a very sensitive person, who can have an impact on you inasmuch that he / she subconsciously forces you to focus on his/her feelings. You can plan your next act on how he/she would react, isn't it?

If you are a  a person only ruled by the head, it could make you lose friends. You may not be part of a fraternity. People may keep off you because they already know what your decision would be in a case since practicality / dispassion would creep into every decision. You may sometimes not be able to enjoy the finest things in life since you would always be looking at your watch when such things happen. You tend to judge people by right and wrong and someone commits a mistake, you may not be too generous to it.

If you are only ruled by your heart, you can perhaps be manipulated easily. There is a limit to compassion and impracticality. There may be a lot of people around you, people may think of you as a gregarious personality, a 'Mr.Nice Guy', but you will not live life the way you want to. You try to do things to please others all the time. You are not what you are, but someone else. You keep thinking of how your decisions would affect others and will be stuck. And yes, it is alright to enjoy the fine things in life, but you should not be stuck in a warp.

Now which is the best way to adopt? As with most approaches to life, one is not better than the other. It is best to adopt a middle path. One should not be wholly ruled by the head or the heart. Pure mind rulers, should, explore the need to bring some warmth into their lives, be more generous to faults and live life, whereas pure heart rulers, the need to get more practical, less sensitive and move on. I feel that when it comes to work, it should perhaps be 70:30 in favour of mind rulers and when it comes to life, it should perhaps be 70:30 in favour of heart rulers. The percentages can vary, but the fact is that one needs the heart and the mind to work together and strike a balance.

After all, we are human beings and we have got both a head and a heart. They actually make a good combination.

I would say - "Have a heart, you head!" and "Hey heart, use the head!"

Make the best use of both!